Playing the Hero
by MeganRachel09
Summary: When a prank is pulled on the Slytherins, the Marauders have no idea who is responsible, but the perpetrator has left behind a clue: a Gryffindor scarf. Against his own better judgment, James Potter finds himself taking the blame for someone else's carelessness. And what's this about a Marauder bet?
1. The Bet

PART 1: THE BET

The night after the full moon finds one sixth-year James Potter alone in the Gryffindor common room surrounded by textbooks and half-full scrolls of parchment. He has three separate two-foot-long essays due the next day in Transfiguration, Potions, and Charms and a foot-long due in both Herbology and Arithmancy. Normally, he would be finished the bulk of his homework by now, but he was out all the previous night running around the Forbidden Forest as an enormous stag with his giant black dog of a best mate, Sirius Black, and their two other best friends, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, as a werewolf and a rat respectively. As such, he slept most of his day away and, upon waking in the late afternoon, set to work immediately. Now, at nearly one o'clock in the morning, he is finally _almost_ finished.

With a sigh, he sets his quill down and pushes his glasses up into his hair so he can rub his tired eyes with one hand and pulls his Arithmancy textbook closer with the other. He is blinking, exhausted, when the sound of the portrait hole swinging open has him snapping to attention. He starts to rise from the chair he's seated in at one of the common room study tables, half expecting to find Remus returning from the Hospital Wing, though why Madam Pomfrey would have sent him back in the middle of the night is beyond him.

It isn't until he's halfway across the room that he realizes it isn't Remus slipping into the common room. Rather, someone with red hair and nervous, worried green eyes is making their way towards him. James stops abruptly, staring in shock at the newcomer who has yet to notice him.

"Evans?" Lily comes to a sudden halt at the sound of his voice, her eyes focusing on him and hardening immediately. James's eyebrows furrow in confusion as he looks her over and notices that she's breathing hard. "What the hell are you doing out after curfew?"

"I… Rounds," Lily says, standing up straight and looking him in the eyes. "What are you still doing awake, Potter?"

"Homework." James gestures to the pile of books and papers at the table he just vacated, not turning away from her. "Don't you usually do rounds with Remus?"

"He's…" Lily falters, looking at him cautiously and then glancing out the window over his table. James isn't surprised to see that she's looking at the nearly-full, waning moon; Remus has voiced his suspicion that Lily is aware of his condition several times before. "…ill," she finally says, looking back at James, who nods.

"Yeah, he is. That's why I was heading over… I thought you would be him." James nods towards the portrait hole. "Why are you winded?"

"What?"

"You're breathing heavy, like you've been running." James frowns and makes a move to touch her, to help her to a seat, anything, but Lily's eyes flash defensively and she steps aside. "Evans, did something happen on your rounds?"

"No, Potter. And it's none of your business," Lily says, her voice hard as she walks around him swiftly and heads for the girls' dormitory.

On a long sigh, James shakes his head and sits back down in his deserted chair. He has just picked up his quill again, his free hand burying itself in his hair as he stares blurrily down at his Arithmancy textbook, when Lily speaks, alerting him to the fact that she hasn't left yet.

"Forgetting something, Potter?"

James drops his quill again and turns in his chair to face her, seeing that she's got one foot on the bottommost step and is looking back at him. "Er, I don't think so, no." Still, he runs through the list of essays due tomorrow: Transfiguration, Charms, Potions, Arithmancy, and Herbology. "Merlin, please tell me we don't have anything due in Defense."

"No, I didn't mean…" Lily raises her eyebrows at him and shakes her head. "Are you not going to ask me out?"

"Wasn't planning on it," James says lightly, though his heart is beating quicker now. He's asked her out dozens of times –probably nearly a hundred, to be honest– and she's turned him down each and every time without a thought. Could it be that the one time he doesn't ask her out, she would say yes? "Did you want me to?"

"Heavens no!" Lily laughs at the mere thought. "I just can't remember the last time I saw you that you didn't ask me out. I had a rather brilliant insult planned."

James frowns at her, his eyebrows drawing together. Great, he didn't even ask her out and he's still being turned down. Suddenly, he is angry, but that could just be because he doesn't want to admit, even to himself, that he's so fucking _hurt_ by her careless attitude towards him. He turns away from her and slams his Arithmancy book shut, his essay pressed flat between the pages. With a flick of his wand, all of his books arrange themselves in a neat stack which he gathers into his arms as he stands abruptly from his seat.

"Potter?" Lily asks when he's nearly to the staircase leading up to the boys' dormitory. He can't blame her for being confused. This is usually the point where they would either be screaming at the top of their lungs or she would be stalking away from him, annoyed. It must be strange for her to see him stalking away; he has to admit it's strange for him to _be _the one stalking away.

"What, Evans?" he asks harshly. If it weren't so late, if he weren't so stressed out, if she hadn't just baited him into almost asking her out just to crush him all over again, he thinks he would just brush off the whole exchange. But it is late, and he is stressed, and he is humiliated and crushed, so he can't just brush himself off. "You think I _like _being shot down every damn day? You think this is a stupid game to me? Well, it's not; these are my damn feelings you're trampling on all the time, Evans. I know I laugh and I joke and I pretend I don't have them, but I do have feelings and you hurt them _all the time_ and I'm tired of it!"

"Potter!"

"No, I'm terribly sorry to disappoint you, but you won't get the chance to humiliate me any further because I'm just so done with allowing it," James says. He pauses when he reaches the boys' staircase and turns to look at her. "Although, I can't imagine you coming up with a more humiliating response than that you'd rather date the Giant Squid. That one really hurt."

Before she can form a response and goad him into an actual shouting match, James turns and hurries up the staircase to his dormitory, where he is careful not to wake Sirius who, he knows from experience, is awful to deal with when disgruntled from lack of sleep. Peter, on the other hand, is near impossible to wake up, so he sets himself up a study area on the floor next to Remus's bed, which is as far from Sirius's bed as he can manage to get. Still exhausted and stressed, but now frustrated and angry on top of that, he sets back to work.

* * *

Remus meets them at breakfast, looking tired and pale and weak. James studies the dark circles under his friend's eyes with disdain, which he knows is unfair; Remus's transformations are very rough on him and James knows that Remus has not been relaxing in the Hospital Wing, but he also knows that Remus probably enjoyed a full night of dreamless sleep thanks to Madam Pomfrey's potions. James, on the other hand, didn't get a single moment's sleep. But he did finish his homework, so he can at least feel accomplished about that.

"What are we doing all the way down here?" Remus asks, his voice rough and raw from a mixture of disuse the previous day and all the screaming and howling he did two nights ago.

"Followed Prongs," Sirius says with a mild shrug through a mouthful of food.

Remus turns to look at James curiously. Usually, the Marauders sit at the very center of Gryffindor table, but when James entered the Great Hall, Lily and her friends were seated across from the spot he and his friends usually occupy. Still hurt and angry with her from her callousness a few hours ago, James had taken the spot farthest from her, which just so happened to be near the Head Table.

"Felt like a change of scenery," James says lightly when he realizes that Remus is still waiting for his explanation. Eager to change the subject, James shoves a triangle of toast in his mouth. Disgusted at his lack of manners, Remus turns away from him to begin fixing his own plate.

He is about to ask Peter to pass him the Pumpkin Juice when, out of the corner of his eye, he catches sight of Professors McGonagall and Slughorn entering the Great Hall in a flurry of disappointed fury. Her gaze sweeps the table angrily and James feels a moment of pity for whoever she is searching for. James knows the look on her face; it means harsh punishment. He has never been so thankful to have had nothing to do with whatever's got her so angry. That could be because he has never had nothing to do with what's made her angry, though.

When Professor McGonagall's eyes meet his, the flash of victory in her eyes has his eyebrows drawing together. He is used to her looking at him in such a manner, but he is not used to being innocent under that gaze.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Black." Professor McGonagall comes to a halt right in front of them. "I'll have a word with you."

James looks at Sirius who, to someone who knows Sirius as well as James does, looks just as confused as James feels, though he attempts to cover it with his characteristic laziness.

"Of course, Professor," James says, and turns to face her again. "What is it?"

"You boys," this time, she includes Peter and Remus in her critical glance, "wouldn't know anything about a reprehensible prank pulled in the Slytherin common room last night, would you?"

"What was done?" Remus asks curiously.

"All of the Slytherin decorations were turned into Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw paraphernalia and the dormitory staircases were removed," Professor Slughorn supplies, looking as if he's struggling to seem disapproving. James, however, suspects he's actually quite impressed by the perpetrator's antics.

"Removed?" Peter repeats, blinking thoughtfully. "You mean turned into slides? Like the Gryffindor girls' stairs if a boy tries to go up?"

Unless, of course, said boy happens to know a way around that certain enchantment like all of the Marauders do.

"No, Mr. Pettigrew. Removed. Vanished. As in, there was no way for the Slytherin students to get from their dormitories to the common room." Professor McGonagall makes a sweeping gesture behind her and James realizes for the first time that the Slytherins are just now making their way into the Great Hall, looking quite disgruntled.

"That's brilliant," James mutters, laughing quietly at the Slytherins who give the Gryffindor table a harsh glare.

"Are you lot really pleading innocence?" Professor McGonagall looks between all four Marauders severely. When none of them says anything to the contrary, Professor McGonagall shakes her head. "We _know_ it was a Gryffindor."

"What makes you _think_ it was a Gryffindor?" Sirius asks, carelessly stuffing another sausage in his mouth. "Lots of people have problems with a ton of Slytherins."

"This, Mr. Black, is what tells us that a Gryffindor is responsible!" Professor McGonagall says, her voice sharp with unsuppressed fury, as she produces a scarlet and gold scarf from the pocket of her robe. "The perpetrator dropped _this_ in the Slytherin common room."

"Rookie mistake," Peter says quietly, shaking his head. James chuckles at that.

"Did you three," Professor McGonagall brandishes the scarf at James, Sirius, and Peter, clearly omitting Remus because of his stay in the Hospital Wing, "have anything to do with this?"

"No," James says as Sirius wrinkles his nose when the offending material is passed in front of his face. James knows Sirius is more offended at the insinuation that the _Marauders_ would be careless enough to accidentally leave evidence behind when they didn't want to be caught than the fact that they are being blamed for something they didn't do. Truthfully, James feels the same way.

"Unfortunately. Sounds like a brilliant prank," Sirius mumbles, glaring at the Slytherin table behind Professor McGonagall.

"You three expect me to believe that you had nothing to do with this immature prank on the Slytherins?" Professor McGonagall is shaking she is so upset by the dishonor this prank has caused Gryffindor.

"Professor, do you really think that they would be careless enough to drop a scarf at the scene of the crime? After all our years of experience?" Remus butts in logically, giving Professor McGonagall pause.

"Perhaps not," Professor McGonagall says, and then turns to face the whole table. "If the perpetrator does not step forward, I will be forced to discover them myself!"

James glances down the table; predictably, no one steps forward. Professor McGonagall draws her wand and points it at the scarf.

"Very well. I suppose I will have to perform a Revealing Spell on this scarf, at which time it will return to its owner." Professor McGonagall pauses, looking strictly at her pupils. "You have one more chance to come forward. If you choose not to, your punishment will be ever more severe."

Raising one curious eyebrow, James looks down the table once more as Professor McGonagall begins to mutter a spell.

He makes eye contact with Lily Evans and sees the pure terror in her eyes and remembers her returning to the common room, winded, looking a bit afraid. He had thought that someone had bothered her on her rounds, but could she have just been nervous after having acted out of character? Could she have pulled this prank on the Slytherins? He remembers her leaving the common room the night before, significantly earlier than she had returned. She had been wearing a scarf. He thinks back to when she had come crawling back through the portrait hole, trying to remember if she was wearing her scarf. He was exhausted and stressed and not as observant as he usually is, so he doesn't know for sure, but he would be willing to bet that she wasn't. He would put a hundred galleons down that when McGonagall finishes her spell, that scarf will go flying straight for Lily Evans. The look on her face confirms it for him.

He doesn't know why he does it; he's trying to get over her, isn't he? He's brassed off at her, and he's hurt by the way she treated him last night, the way she always treats him. But he still doesn't want her to get in trouble. He knows how much her perfect record means to her. He knows how badly she wants to be Head Girl next year.

He really shouldn't do it, doesn't even think of doing it. But, before he can register his own thought process, he is on his feet and leaning across the table, plucking the scarf from McGonagall's hands just as it starts to levitate and move away from her.

_Idiot_. He should have just let her deal with the consequences of her own stupid actions. But he's so bloody in love with her he can't do that to her.

Feeling a fool, he sighs and wraps Lily's scarf around his neck; it smells like her, like an odd mix of peppermint and lavender. He closes his eyes for the briefest moment, letting the scent wash over him, before he faces McGonagall and shrugs carelessly. "You've found me out."

"Mr. Potter. But…" Despite the fact that she was, seconds before, willing to blame this prank on the Marauders with no proof, Professor McGonagall looks surprised. It probably has something to do with the shocked and disbelieving looks on his friends' faces.

"James?" Peter whispers.

"No. You're not green enough to drop your _scarf_." Sirius shakes his head firmly. After a moment's consideration, he cocks his head thoughtfully. "Unless you did it on purpose." He glares accusingly at James. "You're playing dirty!"

"What on earth are you on about, Mr. Black?" Professor McGonagall demands. When Sirius doesn't answer, she looks to Remus for answers.

"You're trying to win the bet!" Peter exclaims, pointing wildly at James before Remus has the chance to explain.

The bet! James struggles to keep his face blank, knowing that the slightest movement will let his friends know that he had completely forgotten about their stupid bet until they brought it up. If they realize that this has nothing to do with their bet, they will demand answers from James and, as close as he is with these three boys, James is dreadful at lying to them. So he keeps his face blank and his mouth shut.

"What bet?" Professor McGonagall practically shouts.

"James and Sirius have a bet going." Remus sighs, casting his eyes to the enchanted ceiling, which promises a sunny day outside. "It's idiotic, really. Whoever manages to receive more detentions by the end of the year wins the bet."

"And fifty galleons." Sirius crosses his arms over his chest, still glaring at James. "This shouldn't count. You can't _frame_ yourself. Honest detentions only!"

"That wasn't one of the original stipulations," Remus points out.

"Of course it wasn't! It seems obvious, doesn't it? I didn't think I'd need to tell my own best mate not to cheat!"

"It's not cheating if there's no rule against it. I know you're dead even now and, while this is sure to rocket James in the lead, I say it counts." Peter shrugs when Sirius glares at him, and both of them turn expectantly to Remus.

"I'm sorry, Sirius, but I have to agree with Peter." Remus holds up a hand before Sirius can complain. "If you wish to make an addendum to the rules, we can all convene at a later date to discuss and decide. As it is now, the ruling stands. Whatever number of detentions James is about to receive will count towards the bet."

Sirius gapes for a moment before slamming his hands down on the table. "Fine. Fine!" He stands quickly and faces James. "I'll not be proposing any rule changes, but rest assured, the game is on, Prongs."

With that said, Sirius turns on his heel and stalks rather dramatically out of the Great Hall, his robes billowing out behind him.

"Where is he going?" Professor McGonagall asks weakly.

"If I had to guess, I'd say he's off to plot something that will earn him more detentions than I'm about to receive," James says, finally speaking now that he's relatively sure his friends won't demand answers from him.

"I was afraid of that." Professor McGonagall sends a troubled look after Sirius.

"How many detentions am I about to get?" James asks. Now that he's over the shock of the knowledge that _Evans_ pranked the Slytherins, he is eager to hear his punishment. As boring and awful as detention can be, he hopes however many she assigns him, it's enough to secure him victory in the bet.

"I've yet to decide. We'll discuss it in my office, Mr. Potter." Professor McGonagall gestures for him to follow her as she sweeps out of the Great Hall. He makes to follow her, carefully avoiding Lily's gaze, and swears he hears McGonagall murmur under her breath, "Gryffindor was such a delightful House to Head before you lot were sorted in."

* * *

It is still light out when he returns to the Gryffindor common room, but it feels like it should be the middle of the night. He plans to head straight for bed when he gets there, but is tackled immediately upon entry. All twelve stones of Sirius Black settles on James's back. With a grunt muffled by the floor, James jams his elbow in his best mate's side. Groaning, Sirius rolls off of him and James stands quickly, smoothing out his robes. He ignores the crowd that has gathered in the common room and holds down a hand to help Sirius to his feet as Remus and Peter make their way through the crowd toward them.

He hasn't gotten a chance to explain to his friends what happened after McGonagall led him out of the Great Hall. He arrived to his first class late after receiving his punishment, and they were all kept incredibly busy in all of their classes. James even had to miss lunch to get started on the first part of his punishment. This is really the only chance he's had to talk to anyone other than a professor since breakfast.

"Well?" Peter asks.

"Well what?" James knows what he's asking; it's what the entire common room is wondering. But he doesn't feel like talking about it.

"How many detentions did you score?" Sirius demands. James could roll his eyes at the eager silence in the overcrowded room.

"None." Sighing heavily, James starts to shoulder his way through the crowd towards the boys' dormitory.

"None?" Beside him, Remus raises his eyebrows thoughtfully as everyone around them begins to chatter, all the Gryffindors just as surprised as James was that he wasn't given detention. "You didn't receive a single detention?"

"No, I didn't," James says.

"Oh, blimey, mate. You weren't… expelled?" Peter breathes. The sudden hush in the room is comical and James actually cracks a smile as he shakes his head. Peter frowns when Sirius shoulders his way between him and James. The smaller boy cranes his head around Sirius to look at James. "Then what happened? You must have received some sort of punishment."

"I had to put the Slytherin common room right." James shrugs. "That was pretty awful. Putting things right is much less fun than wrecking them." Never mind the fact that he didn't wreck the Slytherin common room, anyway.

"That's it?" Sirius asks disbelievingly. "You just had to fix it all up for them and then McGonagall let you go with no other punishment?"

"Not exactly." James frowns and drags a hand through his hair, wishing the interested crowd around him would disappear so he could go upstairs and go to sleep. "I have to tutor anyone who needs it in Transfiguration."

"Interesting. She's punished you by giving you more responsibility." One corner of Remus's mouth turns up and he lifts a shoulder. "Unorthodox, but not unheard of."

"_More_ responsibility?" Sirius groans. "You're already Quidditch captain! And we're going into our seventh year! Our workload's been insane lately, and now you're meant to help the school with theirs? That's no fun."

"It's a punishment, Sirius. It's not meant to be fun." James sighs in both exasperation with his best mate and relief when he finally reaches the staircase to the boys' dormitory. Before he can head up, however, Sirius blocks his way.

"But, mate, how are you going to keep up with your workload and captain the Quidditch team, and tutor everyone in Transfiguration while still managing to keep pranking with us?"

"I'm not," James says.

"You can't quit pranking!" Peter exclaims, his voice full of the horror that is showcased on Sirius's face. Even Remus looks shocked, James notes with a glance over his shoulder.

"Not what I meant." With a sigh, James reaches into his pocket and pulls out his Quidditch Captain badge. Wordlessly, he presses the badge to Sirius's chest, who stares at him, wide-eyed, his hands coming up to catch the badge before it can fall when James pulls away. "I was suspended from the team."

"But you're captain!" Sirius says hoarsely, his eyes still wide.

"No." James shakes his head. "You are. Now that I'm off the team, you're the senior member."

At once, the crowd at his back begins to protest.

"But the only match left is the final!"

"We're up against Slytherin!"

"We'll be slaughtered without you, Potter!"

"McGonagall wouldn't do this to her own House!"

"I can't be captain," Sirius whispers. "I don't want the badge."

"Don't be stupid. You wouldn't shut up with your jealousy when it came in the post last summer," James says. "You wanted it badly all last year."

"Yeah, of course I wanted it when I didn't have it!" Sirius exclaims, shaking his head and trying to hand the badge back to James, who brushes his hand away. "Now I've got it I don't want it! You're captain! Take it back!"

"I can't." James shoves his way past Sirius, stopping a few steps past him. He sighs, shoulders slumping forward, and turns to face his fellow Gryffindors. "I'm really sorry to let you all down. I didn't… I didn't mean for this to happen. But I know we can win the tournament even if I can't play."

For the second time that day, his eyes unexpectedly meet Evans's, and he is not at all shocked to see the horror in them. She looks guilty and incredibly apologetic and, James is loath to admit, like she might just start crying. Unable to stand the guilt in her eyes, James turns back to Sirius, who is white as a ghost and still staring at the Captain badge as if it is about to kill him.

"You'll be fine, mate. You're a bang-up player and you know the team and the sport as well as I do." He walks back down to clap Sirius on the shoulder bracingly. "If I may, I'll suggest moving Marlene off Seeker and making her a Chaser because we already know she's brilliant in any position, then finding a younger, smaller, faster player with a good eye to be Seeker. That is, if you can't find a Chaser to fit in with the team, of course. But you'll do brilliant, I know you will."

That said, he turns on his heel and marches up the stairs. He is standing in the door to his dormitory when he remembers. "Oh, and Sirius?" he shouts down the stairs.

"Yeah?" Sirius's voice is loud and clear and James presumes that his friend has shaken off the debilitating shock and is projecting his old confidence.

"Whatever prank you came up with today to keep up with me, you might want to reconsider." He sighs and shakes his head. "McGonagall said neither of us will be receiving another detention for the rest of the year and that if we pull another prank, it's expulsion."

Looks like the bet is off.

* * *

He isn't surprised when she finds him; he has been expecting her to come to him and demand answers, maybe accuse him of being arrogant and proud and inappropriate like she usually does. No, he's not surprised that she seeks him out, but he is shocked when she grabs his hand and yanks him into an empty Charms classroom and wordlessly locks the door.

"Well, if this isn't just like my wildest dreams." Smirking when Lily raises her eyebrows at him, James jumps up on top of the professor's desk and leans back, spreading his arms out to his sides and maintaining careful eye contact with her. "Take me, Evans!"

"Oh, sod off, James."

Now it's his turn to raise his eyebrows. "You called me James. Does that mean you won't hex me if I start calling you Lily?"

"You were the one who started with the last names." Still standing right in front of the door, Lily crosses her arms over her chest and narrows her eyes at him as he shakes his head.

"I absolutely was not." Not thinking, James lifts a hand to ruffle his hair, dropping it abruptly when he realizes Lily is watching his movement critically. "It's Sirius who has only ever called you Evans. There was a full month first year when I called you 'Lily.' Then you decided you hated me… perhaps rightfully so… and started calling me 'Potter.'"

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. It stuck with me because I tried continuing to call you Lily, but you tried to hex me and said that first names were reserved for friends and we would never be friends." James frowns, and then shrugs, trying to downplay the pain that had caused him at eleven years old. He sighs. "Look. Lily…" _Merlin, it feels wonderful to call her that_. "I've got places to be, so if you could just say whatever you've got to say to me and let me go, that would be really great."

Lily tucks one of her feet behind the other and clasps her hands together in front of her, her fingers moving nervously against each other. She bites her lip and looks at the floor instead of him. "Thank you."

James frowns. That is honestly the last thing he has ever expected Lily Evans to say to him. "Come again?"

"I just wanted to thank you. For taking the blame…" Lily trails off awkwardly, forcing herself to look up at him.

James can't help but notice that she seems somewhat reluctant to end the conversation. He raises an eyebrow as he shifts his weight on top of the desk. "You're welcome, Lily. I can't say I'm not surprised. I was expecting you to drag me in here to berate me or at least interrogate me."

"No. I… I'm really grateful to you… I know I've never been very kind to you."

"I've never exactly deserved your kindness," James points out.

"And I've never deserved your sacrifice." Lily tilts her head in acknowledgement of his actions. James blinks and exhales loudly, standing and preparing to brush off her thanks so he can get to his appointment. Lily's voice stops him. "Why did you take the blame? Was it just because of that bet Remus talked about? You wanted more detentions than Sirius?"

James is silent for a moment, watching her closely and trying to gauge what she _wants_ him to say. He suspects it will be easier for her to stomach if he says he wanted the detentions. That way, she could just go on thinking he's irresponsible and arrogant and just overall stupid. If he tells her the truth, however… she may be forced to admit that that may not be the case.

"James?"

"No. I actually had completely forgotten about that stupid bet." He sighs and shakes his head. "Lily, you've never gotten in trouble before… Except for when McGonagall asked you not to shout at me so much at the beginning of the year. But you've never had detention or anything before. I know how important your immaculate record is to you. And, as you well know, detention is nothing to me."

And she had looked so damn _terrified_ when McGonagall had explained the spell that would reveal the owner of the scarf. He thinks if she hadn't looked so small and scared, he might have let her deal with the consequences on her own. Perhaps. But probably not.

"I feel awful that you can't play Quidditch anymore," Lily says in a small voice. "If we don't win the championship, I'll never forgive myself."

"Don't worry about it." James lifts one shoulder in a halfhearted shrug. "Sirius will figure everything out. I'm sure we'll still win."

He really is confident in his team's talent. Besides, there's got to be a reason McGonagall chose _Sirius_ to replace him. Aside from the fact that, with James suspended, Sirius is the senior player, he suspects that she purposely made the replacement captain someone who could easily and would willingly seek counsel with James if he needed advice. McGonagall may want to punish him, but she is still very proud of the fact that the Quidditch Cup has belonged to Gryffindor for the past three years.

Still, it does kill him to know that _his_ team is out there flying, practicing right now and he's stuck inside the castle heading down to the library. He misses Quidditch more than he thought he would, and that is admitting a lot. He misses the freedom, the weightlessness, the knowledge that _he_ is totally in control of everything that happens to him up there.

"It's just one game, really, if you think about it," he says after a moment of silence. "I'll have to try out again next year for the first time since second year, but McGonagall said she might give me back captain. Sirius will probably nag her into it. I never would have guessed from his reaction to me getting captain last year, but he _really_ doesn't want it."

James doesn't know how many times Sirius has asked him if he is _absolutely _certain that this is what McGonagall meant when she gave him his punishment, how many times Sirius has gone to McGonagall and begged her to reconsider in the five days since he was suspended from the team. He does, however, know that if he has to listen to Sirius talk about how unfair this suspension is one more time, James will glue his best mate's mouth shut.

"When you realized that your punishment was going to be worse than detention, why didn't you tell the truth?" Lily takes a step forward, her face pointed toward her feet, but her eyes looking up at him from under her lashes.

His heart skips a beat and he licks his lips nervously. "Lily, you know why."

"Say it." Her voice is barely a whisper, but he hears her as if she has spoken quite clearly directly into his ear.

He exhales unevenly and shakes his head. "I can't."

Lily draws closer to him, so close that James could count every freckle decorating her milky white skin if he wanted to (which he does, so desperately), so close that he can see that her eyelashes are actually the same color as her hair and they are so long that they brush the apples of her cheeks when she blinks. Her green eyes, blanketed by red and smooth milky white, would surely make him think of Christmas if he could think anything at all.

He watches her as her face moves ever closer, so slowly he isn't entirely certain that's what's happening until he can feel her warm breath on his lips. All he can think is _Oh Merlin, yes, please._

"What are you doing?"

He hears the words, but isn't aware that he's the one who spoke them until Lily smiles at him and tentatively buries a hand in his hair and _oh Circe, Merlin, Morgana, and anyone else_, it feels so much better than he imagined it would.

"Thanking you," she whispers.

_Go right ahead_, he wants to say. But something doesn't sit right within him. He has only the briefest split second to think about it, but it comes to him. If she does this, if she kisses him, he will never be able to get over her. He isn't entirely sure he'll be able to get over her even if he never feels her lips on his, but he knows without a doubt that he will be lost forever if she kisses him. It is one of the only things he has wanted consistently since he became aware that girls were more than just fun targets for immature pranks. However, what he has wanted even more than to kiss her for just as long is for her to be his girlfriend, to kiss him on a regular basis because she wants to feel his lips on hers and not just once in an abandoned classroom because she feels like she owes him some sort of payment for keeping her record clean.

"Don't," he says firmly, jerking away when her lips are mere centimetres from his and he can taste her breath on the air between them. His eyes are wide and his chest is heaving and Lily is looking at him like he's mad, but he feels as though he might explode at any moment now and he doesn't want her to be caught in the blast, so he scurries away from her, his back coming up flush against the cold stone wall. His heart feels caught in his throat and his voice cracks when he finds it again. "You'll break me."

Lily looks completely flabbergasted. "James…" She begins to move towards him, but James clears his throat, suddenly feeling like a fool, and brushes past her to grab his discarded rucksack from the floor.

"I'm meant to be in the library helping a third-year Hufflepuff boy manage a Switching Spell." Without turning to look at her, he flicks his wand at the door, unlocks it, and pulls it open. "I'll see you around."

* * *

So, that's the beginning of that!

I'm not sure if this is going to be in two or three parts, but I do know that I should have part two up relatively soon.

I hope you guys liked this and are interested in reading more.

Feel free to leave a review, if you feel so inclined! :)


	2. Break Me

Hey guys! Thanks so much for all the lovely reviews, favorites, and follows! I really appreciate it! They've definitely helped me to get this finished quickly!  
Don't worry; I'm not going to prattle on here for long. I just wanted to thank you all and point out that this is the chapter that earns the 'M' rating!

Warning: Mature scenes ahead!

* * *

PART 2: BREAK ME

He fully expects Lily to become even more distant with him than before their encounter in the abandoned Charms classroom, but to his great surprise, she seems to make it a point to go out of her way to speak to him, even if only to say hello. It is almost as if their situations have switched.

Of course, James doesn't hate her. Nor does he wish she would leave him alone. And Lily isn't exactly trying to court him. But no longer is he the one hailing her across the common room, or bounding up to her in the corridors, or trying to sit next to her in classes in which they have never sat near each other. Now she is the one doing all of these things, and it baffles James as much as it baffles everyone else.

It's almost as if Lily Evans is trying to befriend James Potter.

The rest of the student body seems to grow accustomed to her change in attitude towards him far quicker than James does.

James is still waiting for the other shoe to drop; he half expects that the moment he begins to let his guard down, she will take advantage and laugh as she hexes him. He knows that it's unfair of him, that expecting her to act like her old self is just as cruel to her as it would be cruel of her to treat him like the delinquent he used to be, and Lily hasn't been doing that lately. She hasn't been treating him like fifth-year-Potter who humiliated Severus Snape in front of a crowd of gawkers until Snape was so flustered and upset and mad that he called Lily the one word she should never be called. Instead, she has been treating him like present-day-James, who took the blame for her prank just so that she wouldn't lose her standing and jeopardize her chances of being Head Girl.

He realizes that, if Lily is trying to be friends with him now, the least he can do is to put forth the same effort and try to be friends with her as well. He has never really tried to befriend her before; he has always only ever tried to convince her to go out with him. James finds it odd to sit next to her in the library, at meals, out by the lake, or in the common room, and not ask her out knowing that her response will be biting and insulting and potentially violent. It's odd, but nice.

While he likes their newfound friendship, he can't deny that he still fancies the pants off of her. He's reminded of how much he fancies her every time makes his way down to the library or an abandoned Transfiguration classroom to tutor someone. He's especially reminded of how much he likes her when he finds himself sitting next to her in the Gryffindor section in the Quidditch stands during the last match of the season.

He is tense and twitchy for the entire duration of the match. Watching Sirius out there barking orders to _his_ team is bittersweet. James is certainly proud of how well everyone responds to him – he always knew that Sirius could command the respect of the team if he tried – but he regrets that the announcer, Benjy Fenwick, didn't call his name at the beginning of the game. He misses the weightless freedom and the wind in his hair and the rush of adrenaline that becomes his entire being during a match.

Until Lily takes his hand in the middle of the match. He glances over at her, shocked, but she doesn't look at him; he thinks she is purposely avoiding his gaze. It is not until she leaps to her feet and begins screaming excitedly that he realizes that Marlene has won possession of the Quaffle and is about to put them in the lead.

When Sirius just barely dodges a well-aimed Bludger from one of the Slytherin Beaters moments later, James squeezes Lily's hand tightly, then hugs her jubilantly when Sirius turns around and beats the Bludger directly at the Slytherin Chaser in possession of the Quaffle, who drops the ball in pain and shock. Marlene, swooping in below him, catches the ball of leather and scores Gryffindor yet another point.

It isn't until Gryffindor has won the game and the tournament that James realizes his lack of participation in the game is not the reason his heart has been beating wildly in his chest for over an hour. Rather, it is the presence of the redhead who is clutching his hand as she jumps up and down in exhilarated relief. He watches her for a moment as her hair flutters about her flushed and beaming face, bouncing on her shoulders and getting caught in the wind. She catches his gaze and hugs him tightly and places a kiss on his cheek and James is so caught up that he feels himself about to kiss her as she would have kissed him in that abandoned classroom a few weeks earlier when Sirius swoops down between them and leaps off his broom to embrace James and push his broom into his hands so that James may take a victory lap as well, despite the fact that he didn't play in this game.

He doesn't find Lily again until several hours later in the Gryffindor common room. She is standing near the portrait hole laughing at Marlene, who is gesticulating wildly as she mimes something that James is relatively certain is an impression of a Slytherin who nearly fell off his broom when she zoomed by him during the match. He is half-listening to Sirius rave about his own coaching techniques when Lily suddenly glances over and makes eye contact.

She smiles at him and James smiles back. Her eyes light up and her head tilts to the side inquisitively. He is confused until he realizes that she is gesturing to the portrait hole, asking if he would like to leave the common room with her. His heart leaps and he lifts a shoulder as he nods. Lily immediately hands her drink to Marlene, whispering something in her ear. Marlene doesn't even seem to acknowledge her, though, as she continues to speak to the crowd of people around her. Lily doesn't mind, and slips away quietly.

James watches the portrait hole open and close and waits a few seconds, which is as long as he can hold out, before he pats Sirius on the shoulder and stands up from the couch he is seated on, wedged between Sirius and Remus, who is leaning over the arm of the couch and talking closely with Emmeline Vance.

"Where are you going?" Sirius looks put out when James takes a step away, but James doesn't even falter.

"I've just remembered something I forgot to do earlier," he lies. Peter looks up questioningly from the Exploding Snap game he is trying to play by himself on the floor and Sirius frowns. Remus glances around, but doesn't stop flirting with Emmeline, and James knows that he has not managed to deceive his friends. That doesn't stop him from trying again, though. "A bit of homework. I've got to get to the library."

"Prongs?" Sirius questions, but James's spot is quickly taken by a beautiful blond who distracts Sirius and leaves only Peter to watch James slip out of the common room suspiciously.

He isn't sure where Lily went and he briefly wishes that he had the Marauders' Map with him, but his friends would probably notice him if he tried to sneak up to their dormitory to retrieve it, so he heads down the nearest staircase, searching blindly.

A door is ajar up ahead and he peers inside cautiously, slipping into the room when he spots Lily's silky red hair across the room where she is looking out of the high window. He is halfway to her when he recognizes the abandoned Charms classroom from earlier in the year. Licking his lips, he clears his throat nervously.

"Loud in there, wasn't it?" he says when Lily doesn't turn to him. He stops just a few steps behind her, worried when she doesn't answer him.

"What did you mean when you said that I would break you?"

Lily does not, apparently, intend to engage in small-talk. He runs a hand through his hair and takes a deep breath, turning to the window next to hers, barely a metre away. The thought of revisiting that conversation makes him nervous and uncomfortable, two things he hates to be, so he turns the conversation on her.

"Why did you break into the Slytherin common room, remove all of their decorations, and trap everyone in their dormitories?" He shifts so that his shoulder is nestled against the wall, propping him up as he leans facing her. "That was a brilliant bit of magic, by the way, with the stairs. It took me the better part of an hour to sort out. And Transfiguration is my specialty."

"Thank you." Lily turns toward him and mimics his posture, a wry smile on her face. She surprises him when she actually answers his question. "I had another confrontation with my once-best-friend. I was a bit peeved with him."

"What did he say? I'll curse him for you." The offer is immediate and instinctual and he regrets it at once. It is a testament to how much Lily's opinion of him has changed, however, that she doesn't grow enraged the moment the words leave his mouth. Instead, she only looks mildly annoyed with him.

"You've cursed him for far less." She shoots him a pointed look, then lets out a deep breath and shrugs and he supposes his momentary lapse of judgment has been forgiven. "But it doesn't matter; I think my revenge worked well enough."

"Making him late to breakfast? That counts as revenge to you?" James snorts sardonically and Lily rolls her eyes at him.

"He had an appointment to keep with Professor Victred first thing in the morning –before breakfast, even– to retake a Defense exam he hadn't properly prepared for." She speaks quite primly, which suggests to James that she feels somewhat guilty over the admission. As she probably should, he supposes.

He remembers the exam in question; it was a particularly difficult one, but James and all of his friends had managed to do quite well on it, so he hadn't thought much of it. But now that she's brought it to his attention, he recalls that the exam was worth a quarter of their final grade.

"I'm sorry, what's that?" he teases, leaning forward unknowingly. "Did Prefect Lily Evans, favorite to be Head Girl next year, just admit to me that she _purposely _set up a student to fail an important exam?"

"Please. It's not as if a high score in _Defense Against _the Dark Arts will be of any use to an aspiring Death Eater." She scoffs when his eyebrows shoot up into his hairline. "Please, James, don't feign shock on my account. We both know it's what he wants to be." She sighs, disappointed or tired, he isn't sure, and looks out the window for a moment before she turns back to him. "But enough of this. Your distraction hasn't worked. You still have to answer my question."

"Lily…" James protests, trailing off when Lily steps forward, gazing up at him imploringly.

"No, James. Just tell me," she insists. "Do you know how preposterous an idea that is? That _I_ could hurt _you_?"

"How is it even close to preposterous?" James whispers, his hands moving of their own accord so that one is cradling her face and the other is resting on her slim waist. "Lily, you might just be the only person who _can_ hurt me."

"I don't want to," Lily says softly, her hands creeping up his arms to his shoulders and into his hairline at the back of his neck.

And then her lips are on his, or his are on hers. He really doesn't know who moves forward; perhaps they both do. But she tastes magnificent and she feels like a dream and he isn't entirely sure that this _isn't_ a dream.

"James," Lily says breathily when he drags his lips across her jaw to suckle at the spot just below her ear. He presses her back against the stone wall and groans, lifting his head when she pulls his hips against hers roughly.

"Oh, Merlin." He gasps when her lips trail down his neck and her fingers start unbuttoning his shirt.

"Merlin," he repeats, his head tilting back when she pushes him back so that his hips hit the professor's desk. He gulps when her fingers start fumbling with the catch on his trousers. "Jesus, Lily."

"James." She brings her swollen bottom lip into her mouth as she meets his wild eyes and he realizes that his name is a question.

_Do we stop, or do we go?_

His response is to place his hands on either side of her neck and yank her mouth back to his roughly. She moans when he sinks his teeth into her bottom lip and drags it into his mouth to suck on.

And then she is pulling away and her mouth is moving hurriedly down his bare chest and abdomen and she is on her knees and shoving his unhooked trousers and shorts to the ground hurriedly and taking him into her mouth.

His heart is in his throat and his hands are in her hair and he is in her mouth and he is in her mouth and he is in her mouth and it is ecstasy.

It could last a lifetime and it would not last long enough for him. As it is, it is over quickly. He only takes a moment to catch his breath before he is gripping Lily's hand and pulling her to her feet and turning her around and pressing her back until her hips hit the desk. He lifts her and sets her arse on the edge of the desk, pressing his already-hardening, sensitive cock to the junction between her thighs. He hisses and Lily moans at the friction when he rocks his hips against hers, her legs coming up to encircle him, her arms slithering around his shoulders and their mouths connecting messily as they both gasp for breath, both of their hips rocking unsteadily back and forth.

"Fuck me." He groans and buries his face in Lily's hair as his hands move down the front of her shirt, fumbling to undo the frustrating buttons. It isn't as if he's never done anything like this before. He went down on a Muggle girl over the summer, after all. But he wasn't nervous then because she wasn't Lily Evans.

But this, right here, is Lily Evans and he is currently doing something he has dreamed of doing with her for years and he is making a right bloody fool of himself.

Lily giggles when he gives up halfway down the shirt and instead rips it open. Then she gasps when she realizes what that means for her as the buttons go scattering across the room.

"James!"

"You can wear mine," he promises as his mouth descends on the newly-revealed flesh that swells up over the cups of her black bra. He doesn't even bother to try unlatching that trap. Instead, he pulls the straps down off her shoulders and shimmies the material down until it settles around her waist. His lips are on her taut peaks before his hands are done pulling the article down past her ribs.

His mouth lingers over the soft, warm, sensitive flesh, but his hands can't stay still and instead wander down her bare waist to skim over the top of her heavy uniform skirt all the way down to the bottom hem until he wraps a hand around her exposed thigh. While he has the almost overwhelming urge to wrap her legs around his waist and press his hips to hers even more fully, he instead hitches her one leg up, bending it at the knee as he skims his hand down her warm, quivering thigh to brush against her knickers.

"Is this okay?" He feels a fool having to ask, but he figures it's better to ask than to assume and be wrong.

"Yes." Lily nods eagerly and lays back. James smiles at her as he hooks his fingers in the top of her knickers and begins to pull them down her pale thighs.

He moves slowly and Lily is positively panting with want by the time he has the damn article off of her and flings it to the side. She grabs him by the back of the neck and yanks his head down to kiss him sloppily as he begins to trail his fingers back up her thigh to her slick, wet heat.

He runs his fingers up her slit until they catch on the hood of her clit and she whines a little, her mouth separating from his with a soft smacking noise and it is the sexiest sound he has ever heard and her mouth is in the shape of an o and her eyes snap shut when he circles his finger around the nerves. She bows up so that she is halfway sitting up, but James moves one hand to keep her steady. He kisses her open, panting mouth, then her neck, her chest, down her stomach until his face is in the curls inches above his fingers which are still driving her mad.

And then he slips his fingers inside of her and his mouth moves to replace them, licking, sucking and kissing her to pieces.

The only coherent thought he can manage is that he wants to do this for her every day for the rest of her life before her thighs clamp down around his head and her abdominal muscles tense under his hand and she practically screams under him. He doesn't stop lapping at her until she is trembling and her throat is making tiny little mewling sounds, and even then he keeps his fingers buried in her, slowly stroking her from the inside.

He kisses her hip and then rests his chin on her thigh as he looks up at her, staring at her face as she fights her way back to coherent thought. When he sees that she is nearly done, he finally slips his fingers out of her and, ignoring the cramp in his wrist, licks himself clean. He glances back up to see that Lily is staring at him with dark eyes.

"I take the Contraceptive Brew," she says when the aftershocks have worn off completely and she sits up. She takes his hand from her thigh and pulls him up so that he is once again standing between her legs, which she wraps around his waist like he had been so tempted to have her do earlier. Her arms drape over his shoulders and she kisses him softly, somewhat shyly, though she is doing an exceptional job at hiding her shyness.

"Do you, now?" He raises an eyebrow at her and kisses her again, something he is certain he will never get tired of doing.

"Yes." She smiles when he dances his fingers up her ribcage and cups her left breast in the palm of his hand. "Since I was sixteen."

He can feel the frown flash across his face, but hides it quickly, hoping it didn't register with Lily. He kisses her again, deeply this time, but he feels off about it now.

She must have started taking the potion last year when she was going steady with Aaron Kristophe, a Ravenclaw boy a year older than them. He wonders if she was ever with him like this and feels an awful dread rising up in him. She is clearly expecting to have sex right now, and James feels incredibly nervous all of a sudden.

He has never done this before, he tells her, figuring she needs to know, if they're going to do this at all. He has done just about everything else they have done tonight, but he has never actually had a shag before. Lily flashes him a smile and a seemingly careless shrug and says that she hasn't, either. Relief rushes through him along with slight skepticism. He can't believe that she wants her first time to be on top of a professor's desk in an empty classroom with _him_ when they aren't even together. But she obviously does, if her hand stroking his cock and slowly pulling him ever closer to her center is any indication.

And then he is pushing into her and she is tight and wet and so, so warm. Her face contorts in pain and his only thought is that she is so very brave and so wonderful to trust him with this and he is so honored and so _fucking_ turned on; he hopes he can make this last just long enough that it won't be a complete humiliation.

He is still for an agonizing stretch of time before Lily brings her lips to his and pulls his hips forward simultaneously. And then he can't stop moving, but it's okay because Lily doesn't seem to want him to.

It seems like only a moment later they are preparing to return to the common room together, Lily refusing James's offer of his shirt as it would be strange and incredibly suspicious if James returns shirtless and Lily returns with a shirt three sizes too big for her. Instead she performs a spell James has never heard of and reattaches all of the buttons he popped off of her shirt.

He tries to gauge her expression as they dress together. She clearly did not have an orgasm while he was inside her, but he doesn't think she fully expected to; she doesn't seem particularly disappointed, anyway. Rather, she seems as though she enjoyed herself. Once she has her shirt in order and in place, she turns to him and smiles. She kisses him one more time before they begin their trek back up to Gryffindor Tower.

No one seems to have noticed their disappearance or their sudden reappearance together. While she doesn't avoid him, James can't help but notice that Lily subtly shrugs off every attempt he makes to touch her. She doesn't make a big deal of it, so he doesn't feel particularly slighted, especially when she remains near him for the remainder of the party. He just wishes he could do _something_ to signify to everyone else that something has changed between them.

* * *

He cannot believe that he and Lily Evans shagged in an abandoned classroom while a party raged on above them in their common room. Part of him thinks it might have been some kind of wild dream, and so he does not mention it to anyone, not even to Sirius. When Sirius notices that James is acting strange and questions him about it, James can only lie and say that tutoring is really getting to him. He doubts Sirius believes him, but his best mate doesn't question him further, perhaps thinking James is feeling sore about not having been a participant in their final Quidditch victory.

Lily acts as though it never happened, too, and that is what has him almost convinced that he hallucinated the entire thing. Until she catches him by the hand one day when he is on his way to meet the boys for lunch and pulls him into a little-known alcove behind a tapestry and kisses him hard on the mouth.

"I need you," she breathes when their lips part, fingers already undoing the buttons on his shirt.

He can think of nothing to say, and so just kisses her, his fingers skimming down the front of her shirt to unbutton it. She is wearing a lacy white bra today with a very convenient front-clasp, which he flicks open quickly, smirking.

"Planned this, did you?"

"James," she moans by way of answer when his mouth descends on her.

If the first time was quick, this encounter breezes by in an instant. While he would have liked to sneak her back up to his dormitory with him, he can't complain when she absolutely insists that it has to be here, _now_. He has her against the cold stone wall, her skirt still on, her shirt hanging off her shoulders, her knickers caught around her right ankle. His trousers are unzipped and hanging inches down his arse as he pounds into her, his hand over her mouth as she sinks her teeth into his flesh to keep from crying out.

Afterwards, she laughs breathily and tucks him back into his trousers when he stumbles back against the wall opposite her, completely shell-shocked. She kisses his chest as she buttons his shirt back up for him and James half-heartedly attempts to do the same for her, but the catch on her bra gives him trouble this time and he gives up almost immediately, instead opting to cradle her breast in his hand, his fingers pinching at her nipples.

Lily lets her head fall against his shoulder when he bends down to kiss her neck and although she clearly enjoys this, she backs away after only a moment. She re-fastens her bra herself and deftly redoes her own shirt before she leans down and hooks her left foot through her knickers and pulls them up her legs to disappear beneath her skirt.

He'll have her in a bed the next time, he vows to himself, and maybe out loud as well, because Lily looks up at him and smiles.

"We have to go." She picks up the rucksack James hadn't even noticed she had been carrying as she backs up towards the tapestry. "I know Marlene will be waiting for me, and I'm sure the boys are wondering where you are."

"I don't give a shit, to be honest," James says, walking forward and kissing her again.

Lily lets him kiss her for a moment before she pulls away again, a small smile playing at her lips. "I'll go first."

And then she disappears, leaving James feeling confused and, although he is loath to admit it, a little bit used.

* * *

He does manage to get her in bed only a few days later. It doesn't work out quite the way he initially envisioned it, however.

James is leaving Transfiguration, his last class of the day, with Sirius and Remus with every intention of heading down to the Black Lake for a swim when Lily calls his name from behind. He turns to face her immediately.

"Hey," he says, wishing he could just reach out and kiss her, but she seems to want their… whatever this is that they are doing… to remain a secret for now. He hopes he looks casual in front of his friends.

"Hi, Lily." Remus smiles at her and her answering smile is so friendly and uninhibited that James is irrationally jealous for a moment.

"Hello, Remus. Sirius." Lily smiles hesitantly at Sirius, who nods at her and shifts slightly on his feet, clearly eager to get moving. She turns back to James and looks at him expectantly. "Are you busy?"

"No," he says immediately just as Sirius answers her with a quick "yes."

He glares momentarily at Sirius, and then pivots back to smile at Lily. "We were just going to mess around, but it's nothing important. Did you need something?"

"Oh." She looks hesitant now, like she doesn't know if she's allowed to ask him for anything when she knows he has plans with his friends. "Well, I was just wondering if you could help me with something."

"With what?" James asks.

"Transfiguration. The new theory McGonagall was going on about today. You understood it, right?" Lily asks. "That nonsense about Animagi?"

James allows himself the barest hint of a smile, but absolutely refuses to look at Sirius and Remus. He nods carefully. "Yes, I think I have a good handle on it."

"Of course you do." Lily rolls her eyes, but James understands that she's not really annoyed with him for it. "It all went straight over my head. I simply don't understand how it works. And how can it possibly not hurt?"

"Well, because it's a willing transformation," James says immediately. "Unlike, say…"

"A werewolf?" Lily offers innocently, not looking at Remus, who stiffens next to James even though all four Marauders are fairly certain Lily knows Remus's secret.

"Er, yes." James scratches the back of his head and feels his shirt rise up and expose an inch or so of skin. Lily's gaze flicks down briefly and James feels himself react immediately. He clears his throat and lowers his arm. "A werewolf's transformation is an unwilling one. It's not a choice he or she can make, but something they must suffer through month after month. Therefore, the werewolf feels the pain of each bone breaking and reforming, the skin stretching and shrinking, the teeth growing, organs shrinking, the face becoming something entirely different. While an Animagus also becomes a completely different creature, the Animagus's transformation is willing. It's a choice. It's something they've studied and practiced for years. If there is any pain from the Animagus's transformation, it is only a fleeting feeling, and usually only when they're new to it."

"But why?" Lily asks.

James shrugs. "It probably has something to do with the fact that a werewolf isn't a wizard or a witch anymore during the full moon. It's quite literally an animal taking over a human being. The wizard isn't in control anymore. But an Animagus is still a wizard, just in the form of an animal. Fully conscious and in control of their actions, an Animagus is basically just an extremely well-disguised human."

"That doesn't make any sense to me. They're still changing forms, right? It should be just as painful!" Lily shakes her head. "And why does it take so much practice? McGonagall said she studied for over a year before she became registered?!"

"It's an extremely difficult process," Remus offers. "Anything could go wrong."

"If not under the proper guidance, a bloke could become stuck between forms." James flinches slightly at the thought of being stuck half-man, half-stag.

"What do you mean?"

"Look at it this way, Evans," Sirius says impatiently, stepping forward. "Say a bloke isn't properly concentrated on what he's doing. Say there's a pretty little bird off to the side, or a lovely lake he's looking to swim in and he's trying to take the dog, but he's not sufficiently practiced and half of him really wants to stay a bloke and go chat up the pretty bird sunning by the lake. One second he's his usual, fetching self, the next, he's got a tail and a muzzle and great tufts of fur. How's he supposed to convince that bird to go sunbathing with him now?"

For the first time, Lily looks genuinely confused as she blinks at Sirius. "'Take the dog?'"

"Forget what he said," James says, shouldering Sirius out of the way and changing tact. "Think of the Polyjuice Potion, yeah? You do one thing wrong, the entire operation is fated for disaster. Use the hair of a cat instead of the hair of a human, for instance, and you're stuck in this awful half-cat, half-witch state for however long it takes a Healer to figure out how to put you right, yeah? Same thing with Animagi. You don't properly understand what you're doing, you could very well be stuck with antlers for the rest of your life."

"Antlers."

"If your Animagus is, say, a stag." James shifts awkwardly.

"Or a moose," Sirius chimes in.

"Antelope," Remus offers helpfully.

"Yes. Any antlered animal, really." James only smiles innocently when Lily looks between the three of them suspiciously.

"Right." She still looks a bit skeptical, but she drops it anyway as she turns to James. "I still don't really understand as well as I'd like. Do you think we could talk about it some more?"

"Sure," he says without thinking. Next to him, Sirius sighs and rolls his eyes in exasperation. "We can go to the library," he suggests, hitching his rucksack higher on his shoulder and ignoring Sirius's incredulous look.

"No, I don't want to go to the library," Lily says immediately. "Er, there are just a lot of people there. It's nearing the end of the year, so everyone will be studying and I'll just have so many questions. I hate when people talk near me when I'm trying to study, so I'd hate to do it to other people myself."

"Oh, all right." James feels his heartbeat quicken at the sudden realization. Lily Evans asking him for help in Transfiguration? As if. She's as brilliant as they come. And she spends so much of her time studying in the library, he finds it hard to believe that she would put her foot down about going with him there to learn about Animagi. It crosses his mind that she could just be trying to get him away from his friends. "Er, we could go up to my dormitory?" He fidgets uncomfortably when Sirius and Remus look at him strangely.

And what if Lily really is trying to learn more about Animagi? She'll be livid with his suggestion. Just because they've shagged twice doesn't mean she wants to shag him every chance she gets. "It's just, Sirius and Remus are headed to the lake and Peter's in Muggle Studies, so it'll be quiet and we won't be disturbing anyone."

"Okay." Lily smiles easily but shifts her books in her arms to hug them to her chest, the only sign she gives that she is slightly uneasy.

"All right." James clears his throat and turns to face his friends, careful to keep his expression as neutral as possible. "You two can go ahead without me. I'll see you later."

As he turns to walk with Lily back up to Gryffindor Tower, he silently prays that Remus and Sirius don't follow them back up to the common room. It's not as if he gave them the option, anyway. He glances over his shoulder when he and Lily reach the end of the hall to see that his mates are still standing there, speaking quietly. James still hasn't told them about this thing he has going with Lily, but he has a feeling they're about to catch on anyway.

Their trek up to the common room is mostly silent and James is severely tempted to reach out and grab Lily's hand. He doesn't, however, because he's unsure how exactly Lily will react to that. By the time they reach the portrait hole, Lily is once again asking him questions about Animagi.

There are only a few people in the common room and none of them pay Lily and James any attention as they cross the room towards the stairs to the boys' dormitories.

James is answering Lily's latest question when they reach his dormitory. He's mid-word when Lily suddenly turns and flings herself at him, her arms coming up around his shoulders, her front pressed up against his inch for inch as her mouth takes his.

"Mmph," James grunts, stumbling back against the closed door even as his arms encircle her waist to hold her to him. He smirks when Lily pulls away from his mouth to nip at his neck. "I knew you didn't need my tutoring."

"Well, you may be McGonagall's little Transfiguration prodigy, but I'm no slouch." Lily smiles up at him and stretches her neck to bring her face closer to his again.

"Who could ever think you to be a slouch at anything?" James kisses her even as he begins backing her up towards his bed. He gently pushes her down on his bed, his hand tangling in her hair. "You're absolutely perfect at everything."

"You only say that because you lost your virginity to me," Lily whispers, but she's smiling.

"I thought so long before that." He kisses her gently. Lily pulls back with slightly wide eyes and James thinks it's ridiculous that she looks suspicious of him right now; doesn't everyone who has ever met or heard of either of them know that he is absolutely mad for her?

Before he can tell her to stop looking at him like she never expected him to say such a thing, she kisses him again and it's soft and slow, which none of her kisses have ever been before. It surprises him, this sudden change in pace, and he leans into her even as he shifts to the side so he's no longer on top of her. They are both on their sides, facing each other, snogging each other, and it feels so real. Much more real than either of the shags they've had.

They stay like that for a while, just lying on his bed kissing, which is something he never thought he'd be able to say he did with Lily Evans, even when he promised her he'd shag her in his bed one day. He's not sure how long it goes on, but when they finally part, Lily looks the way he'd always imagined she would after he'd snogged her into fancying him. His heart begins to beat wildly and he reaches out to smooth her hair, searching for something charming to say.

Footsteps on the stairs leading up have his heart sinking as Lily's eyes widen in panic for just a second before her face goes blank and she leaps from his bed. James sits up in protest just as one of his prat roommates flings the door open.

Remus stops in the center of the room, freezing under what James suddenly realizes must be a harsh glare from him. He forces himself to adopt a more careless expression as Remus looks from James to Lily, his gaze taking in the pretty pink blush that covers her face and neck, disappearing down into her slightly disheveled uniform shirt.

"Oh. Er. Ah, difficult concept, Animagi, yes?" Remus says, clasping his hands together in front of him and looking away when Lily self-consciously attempts to smooth her rumpled shirt. "Sorry for just barging in, but I'll be gone in just a mo' and you'll have the room to yourselves again. Sirius needed something."

"No, I think I've got it now!" Lily exclaims, shifting her weight awkwardly. "Er, and I've just remembered I promised to help Marlene with her Charms essay. It's due tomorrow, remember? So I'd better find her and get started."

She flashes him a harried smile as she edges past the tall, pale boy towards the door. "I'll see you two later." She pauses a moment, glancing at James over her shoulder, her eyes void of that tender look he had seen not even a minute earlier. "Thanks for the explanation, James."

Remus only blinks slowly when Lily turns and rushes from the dormitory, her face brilliantly aflame. Both boys watch her leave before Remus turns to look at James, raising an eyebrow.

"Did I interrupt something?"

James sighs. "I don't know." He frowns at the door Lily just ran out of. "Would that I did."

Remus stays silent for a moment, then crosses the rest of way to his trunk, which he bends down to rummage through for only a quick second before coming up with a large, folded sheaf of parchment that he offers up to James. "Padfoot changed his mind. Wants to sneak out to Hogsmeade instead of swimming. Wormtail's out of class early, so he's in. Padfoot plans for us all to get completely pissed." He smiles. "Are you in?"

James hesitates for a moment. He probably shouldn't risk sneaking out of the castle. What with McGonagall's threat that if Sirius and James do anything detention-worthy for the rest of the year, they'll be expelled, along with the fact that everyone already thinks James wrecked the Slytherin common room, he really shouldn't be breaking any more rules. But then he thinks back to Lily's constantly changing treatment of him, and the complete confusion he feels any time he allows himself to wonder about what's going on there, and he frowns. He needs a night to be stupid with his mates.

"I could do with a drink or twelve." He stands from his bed when Remus grins roguishly at him, clearly imitating Sirius.

"Excellent," Remus says, clapping James on the shoulder before leading the way for the stairs.

"Oh, and Moony?" James stops Remus on the staircase, catching up to him and resting a restraining hand on his shoulder.

"Yes, Prongs?"

James lowers his voice and leans in closer to Remus as a couple of fourth-year boys come traipsing up the spiraling staircase towards them. "Don't mention anything to the others about what you may or may not have interrupted, please."

"Not a clue what you're on about, dear chap." Remus smiles blandly and continues down the stairs.

"Brilliant," James says, trudging along behind him.

When they enter the common room, the first thing James notices is that Lily did indeed find Marlene. The two girls are sitting together in a corner, talking quietly, but James doubts they're discussing Charms. Lily suddenly stops and looks up at him and then quickly looks away, her face going pink again when she notices Remus watching as well.

James frowns and looks away, turning and storming off towards the portrait hole.

"No, not a clue at all what you're talking about," Remus says behind him.

* * *

So, this is clearly not the end of the story. I was planning on only having two parts, but I'm definitely going to have to make it three.  
As I said before, all your reviews, favs, and follows really helped me to get this done quickly! (I work approx. 50 hours a week and today has been my first day off since I posted the first chapter!) Unfortunately, the last part is unlikely to be posted as quickly. I only have part of one scene written - it was the first scene that came to me for this story - so I've got a lot of ground to cover there. I do, however, have two days off next week: Tuesday and Wednesday, so those will hopefully be my writing days! Hoping I can finish it up quickly enough!  
Please feel free to review if it strikes your fancy! I do so love hearing from you all!


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